Tag Archives: pirates

Captain R Jaken’s Warning by Andrew Plant

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Please Note: Captain R Jaken’s “jackspeak” (slang) and vanity means he pronounces Kraken like his name Cray-ken.

Let thar be no mistakin’
Said Captain R Jaken
Don’t ever, noooooo never awaken the Kraken

If youse awaken the Kraken
Said Captain R JaKen
Knoooows this for sure, I’m not foolin nor fakin
The seas will start bubblin-n- squubblin-n-shakin
Jack tars-n-mermaids will be quiverin-n-quakin
Islands-n-light’ouse will be battered til breakin
Many-a ship for meals will be taken
All plans to go swimmin will needs be forsaken

Ain’t no myth I’m makin’
Said Captain R Jaken
Don’t ever, noooooo never awaken the Kraken

Image from Pixabay

Captain R Jaken’s Ship by Andrew Plant

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Captain R Jaken owned a ship 
Named the Spick-n-Speck 
Cleaner than clean he would tell one and all 
“Argh you can eat lunch of t’ deck’ 
And that’s exactly what they did 
The Captain and the crew 
Ate all their meals off the deck 
Which meant – no washing up to do. 

Captain R Jaken often said 
“Argh clean ship sails t’ quickest” 
So come storm or calm he always made sure 
His was the speck and spickest 
Thus every day the crew would clean 
The ship from top to tail 
Dust, polish, vacuum, mop 
And even iron the sails. 

Captain R Jaken had a first-mate 
The crew all called him Splosh 
Who day after day and week after week 
Simply refused to wash 
After a while Splosh really stank 
So the Captain shouted an order 
“Take him and make him walk the plank 
Into a barrel of hot soapy water!!” 

Captain R Jaken recalls with a shiver 
The terrible day of Tyrone 
Storming through harbour and on to the ship 
With the whirl and the swirl of cylcone 
Dashing and splashing, tipping and flipping 
Dumping seaweed, sand and bog 
The crew mopped and swabbed but no matter what 
They could not control this dog. 

Captain R Jaken loved how sun 
Made Spick–n-Speck shine-n-shimmer 
And more than the gold and jewels of his dreams  
How the moon made it glisten-n-glimmer 
This sparkle-n-glow had so won his heart 
Spick-n-Speck never left dock 
And to ensure the ship would stay clean 
It was moored with big a chain-n-lock. 

Image from Pixabay

Pirate plight by Jenny Erlanger

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Though pirates get by
with a patch on one eye
their lives out at sea can be grim.

No wonder they’re mean,
all the pirates I’ve seen
have clearly been missing a limb.

I now understand
all those hooks for a hand,
the clumping around on a peg.

To fit out their ships
for those plundering trips
must cost them an arm and a leg!

Pirate plight by Jenny Erlanger

Image from Pixabay

Alot Doesn’t Exist by Darren McErlain

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‘Twas a dark and stormy night among the horrible sixteen seas,

When the Pirate ship O’Hara, sailed into the dock of Fees.

It slammed into the port and jolted the ship ashore,

With sailors from the top deck attempting to break the law.

They took out a massive chainsaw and split the land in two,

By cutting a symmetrical pattern a new folklore grew and grew.

The traditional land of A lot was cut into two equal halves,

With two new entry points and stencil-crete ridden paths.

The two lands were divided and needed a name of their own,

So the Captain did some thinking, as the history has shown.

One land part was called “A” and was granted an official name,

Whilst the other land parcel called “LOT” had a symbol of a flame.

The two towns were now known as “A” and “Lot”,

And for teachers, this certainly hit the spot.

The town Alot became extinct, and was kicked off every map,

The word no longer existed – a new agreement signed in sap.

I’d Rather be a Pirate by Jessica Nelson

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I’d rather be a pirate

 

‘I don’t want to be a princess,’

The Princess Carlie said.

‘I’ve no wish to grow my hair out long;

I’ll use a rope instead.

I’ve no need to use these glassware shoes;

I’d rather wear my clogs,

And don’t even get me started

On what’s wrong with kissing frogs.

If you really need a royal,

You might try Gary Brown,

He’d enjoy a regal job

Complete with jewelled crown.

I’d rather be a pirate,

Sail a thousand seas;

Swing gracefully in rigging

Like an acrobat on trapeze.

I’d rather have adventure

Than an adoring crowd,

So you’ll find me on the sea-ways,

Belching very loud.

Jessica Nelson

Pirate Plight by Jenny Erlanger

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Pirate plight

 

Though pirates get by

with a patch on one eye

their lives out at sea can be grim.

No wonder they’re mean,

all the pirates I’ve seen

have clearly been missing a limb.

I now understand

all those hooks for a hand,

the clumping around on a peg.

To fit out their ships

for those plundering trips

must cost them an arm and a leg!

 

 

 

Jenny Erlanger 

Lost by Jenny Erlanger

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Lost

 

The water beneath us is surging,

the thunder’s creating a din.

and swiftly a sense is emerging

of just what a pickle I’m in.

All hope of a rescue is shrinking,

I’m such a long way from the shore.

I’m trapped on a ship that is sinking

and teeming with pirates galore,

with villains who thirst for a killing,

who’d slice you apart with a hook.

I’m finding this ever so thrilling!

I love getting lost in a book.

Jenny Erlanger