Humungous Fungus

Humungous Fungus is among us

And it’s rather smelly.

It slowly creeps between your toes

Then right up to your belly.

It can be blue, but when it’s pink

It gives off such an awful stink.

Sometimes it floats down in the breeze

And leaves great blobs on both your knees.

When it sparkles like a fairy

Then you must be very wary.

If it waves its magic wand

You’ll smell like slime from next door’s pond.

Beware if Fungus goes to school.

It doesn’t care who looks a fool.

Your teacher might get quite a shock

If Fungus hides inside his sock.

If poor grandma, while she’s sitting

Concentrating on her knitting

Notices a sudden pull

It’s Fungus climbing up her wool.

Even mum must be quite careful

She might cop a blobby hair full

If she happens to be shopping

Right where Fungus slime is dropping.

Family pets should run and hide

‘Cos Fungus loves to slip and slide

Into kennels, baskets, cages

Sending critters into rages.

But Fungus loathes a water spray

So get yourself one right away.

And squirt that fiend with all your might

You’ll be a hero overnight.

Pat Simmons © 2014